Kung Pinoy si Noah....
...Ganito ang mangyayari sa barko. Read along...
Taong 2007 at isang ordinaryong middle class Pinoy si Noah. Nagpakita sa kanya ang Diyos at sinabing "Pagkatapos ng isang taon ay bubuhos ang ulan at babahain ang buong kapuluan ng Pilipinas. Gusto kong gumawa ka ng isang malaking
Barko at isakay mo rito ang pares-pares na mga hayop at mga mag-asawang pilipino sa iba't ibang kapuluan."
Ibinigay kay Noah ang "specs" ng arko at taos puso nitong tinanggap ang responsibilidad na sagipin ang sambayanang Pilipino sa napipintong pagbaha.
Lumipas ang taon, muling nagpakita ang Diyos kay Noah. Walang arkong nagawa si Noah at galit na galit siyang tinanong ng Diyos,
"Nasaan ang arko na ipinagawa ko sa iyo? "Tumugon si Noah,"Patawarin po ninyo ako kung di po natupad ang utos ninyo! Nagkaroon po ng malaking problema sa plano po ninyo ."
At inilahad ni Noah ang mga sagabal na nakaharap niya sa pag-gawa ng arko.
Humingi siya ng Mayor's permit pero papayag lang daw si Mayor kung ang gagawa ng arko ay ang construction firm ng kanyang pamangkin. Tumungo siya sa Congressman
pero papayag lang daw si Congressman kung may matatanggap siyang 30% commission. Nagtayo ng unyon ang mga kinuha niyang manggagawa at nag-strike.
Natunugan ng mga left-leaning groups ang kanyang balak at ang mga ito ay nag-rally dahil daw sa hindi makatarungang pagpili ng mga taong sasakay sa arko (mga taong naniniwala lang sa Diyos ang pwedeng sumakay). Nakisali sa rally ang mga bakla at tomboy dahil bias daw na normal na mag-asawa lang ang pwedeng sumakay.
Ang civil society group ay nakisali na rin sa gulo dahil napag-alaman daw nila na ang pondong gagamitin sa paggawa ng arko ay galing sa donasyon ng mga gambling lords at katas ng hueteng. Sa kaguluhang ito ay napilitang magpatawag ng hearing ang senado "in aid of legislation".
Sinubukan ni Noah na gamitin ang EO 464 para makaiwas sa hearing pero dahil hindi sya executive official, napilitan siyang tumistigo.
Nang malaman ng senado na utos ng Diyos ang pagpapagawa ng arko, dineklara nila itong unconstitutional dahil hindi raw nito iginalang ang separation ng church at state.
Nakialam na rin ang NBI at PNP at sinabi nilang meron silang impormasyon na ang barko raw na ito ay gagamitin ni Erap sa kanyang pagtakas. Sinabi naman ng ISAFP at DOJ na ito raw ay gagamitin ng grupong Magdalo sa binabalak nilang coup laban kay Arroyo. Nilapitan ni Noah si Mike Defensor para makipag-usap kay GMA. Payag daw si GMA na ituloy ang arko kung ipapaskil daw sa arko ang malaking mukha ni Arroyo
na may slogan "Towards a Strong Republic". "Hindi po ako pumayag kaya hanggang ngayon po ay may TRO ang pag-gawa ng arko.
Sa palagay ko po kailangan ko pa ng 10 taon para matapos ang inyong proyekto". Ang huling wika ni Noah. Napa-iling ang Diyos at sinabing, "Di ko na kailangang wasakin pa ang bansang ito. Hayaan ko na lang kayong sumira nito."
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Crazy quotes from UP profs
"The aim of policy making is to invoke
action! Because action speaks louder
than words! You do not just say I love
you. You say: If you love me, enter
me! "
-Dr. Alfonso Pacquing
"Class, next week na lang ung result sa
exam nyo. I am having a hard time
checking it. I will seek first the
divine guidance on what to do about it.
Class dont worry about your grade. Let
me worry about it."
-sir de jesus,envi sci 1
(valentines day)
"Ano ba yan? Students ba kayo ng UP?
Bakit ang bababa ng scores niyo?
Siguro wala kayong date ngayong
valentines kaya ganito kayo. Losers!!!
When i was your age i had a date. Hindi
ba naapektuhan ng UP FAIR
euphoria ng grades niyo? Parang di
kayo masaya..."
(sabay matching tapon ng quizzes sa
sahig)
"I won't record this. Go find a date."
(sabay walk out.)
-Sir Doliente,BA.
Ma'am: Many people believe that we,
psychology graduates can read minds...
(silence) Actually, we can.
Class: Weh.. Sample..
Ma'am: Right now, you think that I'm
bluffin
-Ma'am Chei
"I don't give surprise long exams. all
exams are announced. Halimbawa,
Class, mageexam tayo, NGAYON NA!"
-Ma'am Chei (again)
"The human body is 70% water. Kaya wala
kayong kasaysayan lahat. Pag may
kaaway ka, sabihin mo sa kanya, TUBIG KA
LANG!!!"
-Dr. Recio
"Oo, nagpapaulan ako ng uno... baket?
aanhin ko ba nun? di naman ako
yayaman dun."
-Sir Atoy, histo I
(commenting on a thesis of a senior
student)
'Yang thesis mo? .. Mamamatay ka!!
Mamamatay ka!!'
- Dr. llanes, UPM.
"Nasa bandang gilid ang fallopian tube.
Kaya kung gusto niyong magka-anak
ng asawa niyo, dapat nakatagilid kayo
habang gumagawa."
-Ma'am Meggie, Zoo 10
"Last sem was the first time that I gave
a grade of 5, and it felt good!!!"
- Prof Goldie, Comm II, circa 1998, first
day of class
"Please wait a while as I finish these people off."
- Prof. Manahan, UPCNs
action! Because action speaks louder
than words! You do not just say I love
you. You say: If you love me, enter
me! "
-Dr. Alfonso Pacquing
"Class, next week na lang ung result sa
exam nyo. I am having a hard time
checking it. I will seek first the
divine guidance on what to do about it.
Class dont worry about your grade. Let
me worry about it."
-sir de jesus,envi sci 1
(valentines day)
"Ano ba yan? Students ba kayo ng UP?
Bakit ang bababa ng scores niyo?
Siguro wala kayong date ngayong
valentines kaya ganito kayo. Losers!!!
When i was your age i had a date. Hindi
ba naapektuhan ng UP FAIR
euphoria ng grades niyo? Parang di
kayo masaya..."
(sabay matching tapon ng quizzes sa
sahig)
"I won't record this. Go find a date."
(sabay walk out.)
-Sir Doliente,BA.
Ma'am: Many people believe that we,
psychology graduates can read minds...
(silence) Actually, we can.
Class: Weh.. Sample..
Ma'am: Right now, you think that I'm
bluffin
-Ma'am Chei
"I don't give surprise long exams. all
exams are announced. Halimbawa,
Class, mageexam tayo, NGAYON NA!"
-Ma'am Chei (again)
"The human body is 70% water. Kaya wala
kayong kasaysayan lahat. Pag may
kaaway ka, sabihin mo sa kanya, TUBIG KA
LANG!!!"
-Dr. Recio
"Oo, nagpapaulan ako ng uno... baket?
aanhin ko ba nun? di naman ako
yayaman dun."
-Sir Atoy, histo I
(commenting on a thesis of a senior
student)
'Yang thesis mo? .. Mamamatay ka!!
Mamamatay ka!!'
- Dr. llanes, UPM.
"Nasa bandang gilid ang fallopian tube.
Kaya kung gusto niyong magka-anak
ng asawa niyo, dapat nakatagilid kayo
habang gumagawa."
-Ma'am Meggie, Zoo 10
"Last sem was the first time that I gave
a grade of 5, and it felt good!!!"
- Prof Goldie, Comm II, circa 1998, first
day of class
"Please wait a while as I finish these people off."
- Prof. Manahan, UPCNs
Monday, September 10, 2007
Equality is a myth, Deprivation is not
If you watch Cribs in MTV channel, you are probably used to seeing houses that are huge, stylish and usually filled with rooms ranging from music room, entertainment room, gym, even a mini bar inside, with 2 or more cars parked in the garage controlled by a very high technology. Basically, the show is about showcasing houses of celebrities, famous athletes and influential people in the US. It’s all about great house structures though the real picture, and the truth of the matter, is that there is an increasing number of poor people forced to live in slum areas and ragged houses due to the decline in their economy. One need not to be smart to realize that inequality exists not only in the American soil but also in different parts of the world.
The term relative deprivation was originally coined by Sam Stouffer and his associates in their wartime study “The American Soldier.” It is a subjective perception that one is in a disadvantaged point as compared to an individual or a group in terms of economic, political or social status. According to Walter Runciman, the four preconditions of relative deprivation are as follows: A does not have X, A knows of other persons that have X, A wants to have X, A believes obtaining X is realistic. From this, we can infer that the realization of deprivation starts by determining what you do not have. Subsequently, you see other people having the thing you wanted, which is then followed by an urge to get what you want believing that it is possible to get it. Relative deprivation then is more of a comparison of the haves and have-nots by people in a given society.
Deprivation is persistent in societies where inequality is widespread. It is a manifestation of inequality brought by various and interlinking factors. It is often perceived as discontentment by an individual or a group giving way to a feeling that a person deserves better than what he/she is getting. Hence, at some point, relative deprivation has been a rallying point of social movements.
Industrial societies are not exempted from this social phenomenon. Relative deprivation however is even more apparent in developing countries. The point is that deprivation is ubiquitous, it transcends borders. It transcends cultures. And it transcends societies fed up with the idea that equality exists. Deprivation, most often than not is anthropogenic. Humans deprive their fellows, consciously or not. One must delve deeper the roots of widespread deprivation resulting to unequal distribution of resources to be able to address it properly. There are cases where relative deprivation is culture-induced as in the case where colonial mentality is prevalent. People believe that other culture or society is more dominant and materially wealthy hence the feeling of hopelessness and deprivation.
Deprivation is not only an economic issue but a moral. There are cases when the feeling of being deprived is transmuted to committing crimes. Sometimes, it results to a feeling of depression and dejection. To cultures that promote individualism where there is a distinction between the haves and have-nots, winners or losers, it may even be demoralizing.
When I was a kid, I saw only a glimpse of social reality. There was one time when I saw beggars swarming the streets of a city, begging for mercy from passers by. The picture struck me. From then on, I started believing that equality is a myth. I failed, however, in recognizing the cause of inequality; I only assumed that is a product of natural circumstances. Laziness, perhaps? But that is not always the case.
What is alarming though is when people are getting used to dissimilarity. It scares me to think of people unaware of the spread of inequality and worse, they tend to pretend that nothing can be done about it.
It is not enough to realize that you are being deprived of your rights. One must fight to live. I used to think that if I would be a very poor individual, I might as well commit suicide. For what is life when sooner or later your life will be taken by poverty and hunger? I don’t see why people still go on begging for a peso or two from aristocrats who waste their money in casinos rather than helping charities.
But then again, I realized. The poor also value their life.
If you watch Cribs in MTV channel, you are probably used to seeing houses that are huge, stylish and usually filled with rooms ranging from music room, entertainment room, gym, even a mini bar inside, with 2 or more cars parked in the garage controlled by a very high technology. Basically, the show is about showcasing houses of celebrities, famous athletes and influential people in the US. It’s all about great house structures though the real picture, and the truth of the matter, is that there is an increasing number of poor people forced to live in slum areas and ragged houses due to the decline in their economy. One need not to be smart to realize that inequality exists not only in the American soil but also in different parts of the world.
The term relative deprivation was originally coined by Sam Stouffer and his associates in their wartime study “The American Soldier.” It is a subjective perception that one is in a disadvantaged point as compared to an individual or a group in terms of economic, political or social status. According to Walter Runciman, the four preconditions of relative deprivation are as follows: A does not have X, A knows of other persons that have X, A wants to have X, A believes obtaining X is realistic. From this, we can infer that the realization of deprivation starts by determining what you do not have. Subsequently, you see other people having the thing you wanted, which is then followed by an urge to get what you want believing that it is possible to get it. Relative deprivation then is more of a comparison of the haves and have-nots by people in a given society.
Deprivation is persistent in societies where inequality is widespread. It is a manifestation of inequality brought by various and interlinking factors. It is often perceived as discontentment by an individual or a group giving way to a feeling that a person deserves better than what he/she is getting. Hence, at some point, relative deprivation has been a rallying point of social movements.
Industrial societies are not exempted from this social phenomenon. Relative deprivation however is even more apparent in developing countries. The point is that deprivation is ubiquitous, it transcends borders. It transcends cultures. And it transcends societies fed up with the idea that equality exists. Deprivation, most often than not is anthropogenic. Humans deprive their fellows, consciously or not. One must delve deeper the roots of widespread deprivation resulting to unequal distribution of resources to be able to address it properly. There are cases where relative deprivation is culture-induced as in the case where colonial mentality is prevalent. People believe that other culture or society is more dominant and materially wealthy hence the feeling of hopelessness and deprivation.
Deprivation is not only an economic issue but a moral. There are cases when the feeling of being deprived is transmuted to committing crimes. Sometimes, it results to a feeling of depression and dejection. To cultures that promote individualism where there is a distinction between the haves and have-nots, winners or losers, it may even be demoralizing.
When I was a kid, I saw only a glimpse of social reality. There was one time when I saw beggars swarming the streets of a city, begging for mercy from passers by. The picture struck me. From then on, I started believing that equality is a myth. I failed, however, in recognizing the cause of inequality; I only assumed that is a product of natural circumstances. Laziness, perhaps? But that is not always the case.
What is alarming though is when people are getting used to dissimilarity. It scares me to think of people unaware of the spread of inequality and worse, they tend to pretend that nothing can be done about it.
It is not enough to realize that you are being deprived of your rights. One must fight to live. I used to think that if I would be a very poor individual, I might as well commit suicide. For what is life when sooner or later your life will be taken by poverty and hunger? I don’t see why people still go on begging for a peso or two from aristocrats who waste their money in casinos rather than helping charities.
But then again, I realized. The poor also value their life.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Si Inday man ay progresibo din!
"I am with you and i feel for your struggles. I am also a woman; I know how it is to live in this society deeply entrenched in such oppressive patriarchal structures. You husband's infidel acts are symptomatic of these feudal values that uphold unfair double standards. But you must resist. As what Simone de Beavouir says 'one is not born a woman but rather becomes one one.' We become women by resisting. It is in this 'becoming', in this resistance that we are transformed. I am glad you confided in me your marital concerns to me. Women maybe bound twice, but women in the struggle are women unbound."
(advice ni Inday sa among babae nung nahuli nitong nambabae ang kanyang mister)
"I am with you and i feel for your struggles. I am also a woman; I know how it is to live in this society deeply entrenched in such oppressive patriarchal structures. You husband's infidel acts are symptomatic of these feudal values that uphold unfair double standards. But you must resist. As what Simone de Beavouir says 'one is not born a woman but rather becomes one one.' We become women by resisting. It is in this 'becoming', in this resistance that we are transformed. I am glad you confided in me your marital concerns to me. Women maybe bound twice, but women in the struggle are women unbound."
(advice ni Inday sa among babae nung nahuli nitong nambabae ang kanyang mister)
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Mga makabagong linya ni Inday...para sa pag-angat ng kanyang posisyon sa paningin ng lipunan...
1. " I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky
contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness
made itself manifests, extending to that niche where i was
given life and growth, that because of austerity i was made
seperated from...."
-INDAY habang ndi makatulog dahil na-ho-homesick . =D
2. "Heavy fire exerted by the stimulus affected the best conductor of heat which is the steel,causing the Oriza Sativa to change it's state of color,smell as well as the taste."
-sagot ni inday ng tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang sinaing.
3. "listening to the nonsense talk about someone's life is a pathetic way of entertainment..it doesn't contribute to the good of society..i hate character assassinators!"
-reklamo ni inday nang natsismis siya ng kapitbahay.
4. "It's not that i dont like you. Its just that i feel we're still to young to entertain thoughts of fornication in the domicile of our employers. In fact, its very immature to insuate that i dont reciprocate ur emotions just because i decline to perform an act of coitus with you."
- inday, nireject si dodong na makipagsex
5. "Love, a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable
malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain
causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow,
blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker."
-inday, gumagawa ng blog entry sa multiply account niya.. pataray ng pataray si inday ha... may mutiply na si bakla
6. "Off you go! Under no circumstances this house
would relent to such unabashed display of
vagrant destitution...!!!"
-INDAY pinapaalis ang makulet na pulubi sa gate
7. "Bloody hell what the fuck did just land on my cutie top...?
I mean i've spent all day just to make myself look fabulous.
I think i have to remove this eeeewwwyyy thing
in a whip wham of time...."
-INDAY nagiinarte ng matalsikan ng mantika habang nagluluto ng TILAPIA
8. Misis: Inday! Bumili ka nga ng mga isda! Oo nga pala, inglesera ka na nga pala ngayon. Would you please purchase many fishes for our this week's meals?
Inday: Judging from your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes", although rarely and erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traverse the road to the wet market would be: What type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day's catch" (Pauses) Aaaaahh. By manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget and this household's quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple "Ga-lewng-gong", am I correct?
Misis: Leche!
Inday: Oh, you meant the milkfish?
9." This has reference to my preceding earnings which you failed to release prior to my departure. Pls note that a demand has been made prior to my departure but due to a fortuitous event you incurred delay from the time I extra-judicially claimed for its fulfillment. Should you fail to settle your obligation, you may be held liable for interest or damages as provided for in the Civil Code of the Phils Article 1169 (makaspak vs. CA) which is a supplementary provision for the Philippine labor law, or a culpable violation of the constitutional provision for involuntary servitude."
-sulat ni inday sa amo nya hinhingi nya yung huling sweldo nya. panalo, parang gumawa ng pleading sa korte!
10. "Please.. It is indeed reprehensible for us to have a carnal knowledge. If you be adamant to unlawfully intercalate your limb into my citadel of pleasure I would be legally responsible to allege this juncture to your spouse."
-sagot ni inday nung pinipilit syang makipag-sex ng amo nya.
11. "Don't limit my capacity in the four corners of this luxurious abode. Expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. I want to grow as an individual with dynamic experiences."
-inday, nagrereklamo dahil ayaw siyang isama sa Enchanted Kingdom
12. Amo: Inday! Bakit mo binenta iyong sirang silya?!
Inday: "I computed the chair's fair value less cost to sell and the value in use using projections for 5 years at a pretax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair. This is in accordance with PAS18 on revenue, PAS16 on Property, Plant and Equipment, and PAS36 on Impairment of Assets.
Amo: (dumugo ang ilong at hinimatay)
1. " I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky
contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness
made itself manifests, extending to that niche where i was
given life and growth, that because of austerity i was made
seperated from...."
-INDAY habang ndi makatulog dahil na-ho-homesick . =D
2. "Heavy fire exerted by the stimulus affected the best conductor of heat which is the steel,causing the Oriza Sativa to change it's state of color,smell as well as the taste."
-sagot ni inday ng tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang sinaing.
3. "listening to the nonsense talk about someone's life is a pathetic way of entertainment..it doesn't contribute to the good of society..i hate character assassinators!"
-reklamo ni inday nang natsismis siya ng kapitbahay.
4. "It's not that i dont like you. Its just that i feel we're still to young to entertain thoughts of fornication in the domicile of our employers. In fact, its very immature to insuate that i dont reciprocate ur emotions just because i decline to perform an act of coitus with you."
- inday, nireject si dodong na makipagsex
5. "Love, a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable
malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain
causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow,
blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker."
-inday, gumagawa ng blog entry sa multiply account niya.. pataray ng pataray si inday ha... may mutiply na si bakla
6. "Off you go! Under no circumstances this house
would relent to such unabashed display of
vagrant destitution...!!!"
-INDAY pinapaalis ang makulet na pulubi sa gate
7. "Bloody hell what the fuck did just land on my cutie top...?
I mean i've spent all day just to make myself look fabulous.
I think i have to remove this eeeewwwyyy thing
in a whip wham of time...."
-INDAY nagiinarte ng matalsikan ng mantika habang nagluluto ng TILAPIA
8. Misis: Inday! Bumili ka nga ng mga isda! Oo nga pala, inglesera ka na nga pala ngayon. Would you please purchase many fishes for our this week's meals?
Inday: Judging from your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes", although rarely and erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traverse the road to the wet market would be: What type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day's catch" (Pauses) Aaaaahh. By manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget and this household's quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple "Ga-lewng-gong", am I correct?
Misis: Leche!
Inday: Oh, you meant the milkfish?
9." This has reference to my preceding earnings which you failed to release prior to my departure. Pls note that a demand has been made prior to my departure but due to a fortuitous event you incurred delay from the time I extra-judicially claimed for its fulfillment. Should you fail to settle your obligation, you may be held liable for interest or damages as provided for in the Civil Code of the Phils Article 1169 (makaspak vs. CA) which is a supplementary provision for the Philippine labor law, or a culpable violation of the constitutional provision for involuntary servitude."
-sulat ni inday sa amo nya hinhingi nya yung huling sweldo nya. panalo, parang gumawa ng pleading sa korte!
10. "Please.. It is indeed reprehensible for us to have a carnal knowledge. If you be adamant to unlawfully intercalate your limb into my citadel of pleasure I would be legally responsible to allege this juncture to your spouse."
-sagot ni inday nung pinipilit syang makipag-sex ng amo nya.
11. "Don't limit my capacity in the four corners of this luxurious abode. Expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. I want to grow as an individual with dynamic experiences."
-inday, nagrereklamo dahil ayaw siyang isama sa Enchanted Kingdom
12. Amo: Inday! Bakit mo binenta iyong sirang silya?!
Inday: "I computed the chair's fair value less cost to sell and the value in use using projections for 5 years at a pretax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair. This is in accordance with PAS18 on revenue, PAS16 on Property, Plant and Equipment, and PAS36 on Impairment of Assets.
Amo: (dumugo ang ilong at hinimatay)
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